今天是十二月一日，终于到十二月了，工作之后就不知道我天天脑袋里想啥了，日子一天天过，但是好像跟上大学那阵子没啥区别。比上学累点，少点自由，每天六点下班（如果能不加班的话），回家就是家庭主妇的样子，煮煮饭，擦擦地板，整理一下房间，再洗洗衣服，做个面膜，瘫在床上看看肥皂剧。天哪，我这正当年轻的人为什么成了这副德行？我不是应该去勾搭几个小文艺青年泡泡夜店啥的么？
上班的时间呢要不就是忙的要死，要不就是一天都没啥事情干，还得应付公司某些男性童鞋的骚扰。一眼望去，看不到一个帅哥。帅哥我也就不要求了，性格靠谱点的也找不到。都是一群自以为是，以为自己多牛多钻石以为我心甘情愿爱他们爱的不行以为答应和我在一起对我来说是一种赐福。苍天哪！！！我真是没啥企图。我只是想要个朋友一起玩啊！！！苍天哪！！！不过还好，我已经全部打发走了。但是我已经好久没有和人进行工作外沟通了，闺蜜果然是重要的。而我现在身边只有一个性格爱好和我男朋友很像的室友，而我最近还常常梦见她变成男的来骚扰我，吓的一身冷汗，人家对我这么好我居然还这么误解她我真是坏人一个。我最近梦很多，梦的很稀奇古怪。
我觉得再继续写下去会变成一篇我瞎囔囔的抱怨文章。我觉得这世界真离谱啊真离谱啊。总而言之我觉得我现在的生活没啥变化，我想要改变改变改变，我想要跳出去，这样活着太憋屈了。我的生活圈子不是这样子的，我不应该在这样的圈子里活着。我要跳出去。
2009年11月30日星期一
2009年11月24日星期二
I never wrote my love story in my blogs--part is because when i began to write, the relationship broke up. Is that a curse? lol as a modern people, bathed in the super high-tech information society and as a IT worker, still believe I that the cautious is never gonna let you down. So I forbid myself from writing my relationship in blogs. Sometimes the so called "melancholy" would drive me write some "perfunctory" love story, nothing but how i loved him and the love would never be stronger--this is what i found in my drafts.
In my drafts, in those papers I have forgotten long ago, I found I was saying "The love is never gonna be stronger and i will never love anyone more than i love him" and an unfinished love letter. Sohow I am sort of afraid of seeing this kind of sentence, it is just like seeing envidance which proved me betraying myself.
When Tom told me "Now I feel more like friends", I realised that however we love someone and though we would never love anyone more than him, when he left, just let him go, life has to carry on. And when we thought that we have loved out all our hearts--no, it is not, there will always a bigger heart there waiting for you. That is me.
Now I sometimes still chat with Tom online like friends. The 1000 pages chatting history remains in my computer and I appreciate those days as sweet memory. Thanks for letting me know that I should never feel down because love is never end.
不管那时候多么爱一个人，也许还是会失去他。爱的时候心里总是会想，自己是多么爱这个人，再也无法用同样多的爱给另外一个人。但是我惊奇的发现，下一次的我总是更懂爱，下一次的我能给出的爱更多，下一个人总是我更愿意去爱的人。每一次的爱，我都很投入。
但我也希望，这样的下一次，不要再来。
In my drafts, in those papers I have forgotten long ago, I found I was saying "The love is never gonna be stronger and i will never love anyone more than i love him" and an unfinished love letter. Sohow I am sort of afraid of seeing this kind of sentence, it is just like seeing envidance which proved me betraying myself.
When Tom told me "Now I feel more like friends", I realised that however we love someone and though we would never love anyone more than him, when he left, just let him go, life has to carry on. And when we thought that we have loved out all our hearts--no, it is not, there will always a bigger heart there waiting for you. That is me.
Now I sometimes still chat with Tom online like friends. The 1000 pages chatting history remains in my computer and I appreciate those days as sweet memory. Thanks for letting me know that I should never feel down because love is never end.
不管那时候多么爱一个人，也许还是会失去他。爱的时候心里总是会想，自己是多么爱这个人，再也无法用同样多的爱给另外一个人。但是我惊奇的发现，下一次的我总是更懂爱，下一次的我能给出的爱更多，下一个人总是我更愿意去爱的人。每一次的爱，我都很投入。
但我也希望，这样的下一次，不要再来。
2009年11月16日星期一
Hey Guys, here is me, blogging again.
Norah Jones has a new ablum "The Fall". I heard it from ICRT radio station for the first time and Chasing Pirates is a good one. The radio station has played this song now and then for the whole afternoon. Although fall has slipped away from beijing, this song bought back some feeling of blue romance.
Listen to the ICRT now this afternoon again and here is the song it is playing: John Mayer's “Who Says” and here is the lyric of the first part.
Who says I can’t get stoned?
Turn off the lights and the telephone
Me and my house alone
Who says I can’t get stoned?
Who says I can’t be free?
From all of the things that I used to be
Re-write my history
Who says I can’t be free?
It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long night in Baton Rouge
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you
If u want to see it, here comes the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ppPIbDkRq8
Have I mentioned that now I am sharing a room with my collegue? Probably it is because of four-year's domitory life, i now would even feel uncomfe to live alone, will always feel afraid. Two monthes ago, my grandma died, she is my dearest person of my life. But i was the last person who knew the sad news. During those days, I cried a lot and asked why there was no sign to let me know. I wanted to see grandma again. I was afraid. I dont know why. At one side I wanted to see grandma, came to fareware to me. Meanwhile, i was afraid when night came.
At one moonshine night, we turned light off and were preparing to sleep. I looked out though the curtain of the big window, something black was standing at the top of the window. I was scared but I should not -- that might just be grandma. She didnt come in because there was my roommate.
Then several days later, I called my mum. She told me she could not sleep well and heard noise sound of funitures cracked at night and then, that night my roommat didnot come back and i spent the whole night scared -- i woke up suddenly and felt something was pressing me......and someone was walking at the floor above and the noise of cracked furniture......
Sleepy afternoon..............
Norah Jones has a new ablum "The Fall". I heard it from ICRT radio station for the first time and Chasing Pirates is a good one. The radio station has played this song now and then for the whole afternoon. Although fall has slipped away from beijing, this song bought back some feeling of blue romance.
Listen to the ICRT now this afternoon again and here is the song it is playing: John Mayer's “Who Says” and here is the lyric of the first part.
Who says I can’t get stoned?
Turn off the lights and the telephone
Me and my house alone
Who says I can’t get stoned?
Who says I can’t be free?
From all of the things that I used to be
Re-write my history
Who says I can’t be free?
It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long night in Baton Rouge
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you
If u want to see it, here comes the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ppPIbDkRq8
Have I mentioned that now I am sharing a room with my collegue? Probably it is because of four-year's domitory life, i now would even feel uncomfe to live alone, will always feel afraid. Two monthes ago, my grandma died, she is my dearest person of my life. But i was the last person who knew the sad news. During those days, I cried a lot and asked why there was no sign to let me know. I wanted to see grandma again. I was afraid. I dont know why. At one side I wanted to see grandma, came to fareware to me. Meanwhile, i was afraid when night came.
At one moonshine night, we turned light off and were preparing to sleep. I looked out though the curtain of the big window, something black was standing at the top of the window. I was scared but I should not -- that might just be grandma. She didnt come in because there was my roommate.
Then several days later, I called my mum. She told me she could not sleep well and heard noise sound of funitures cracked at night and then, that night my roommat didnot come back and i spent the whole night scared -- i woke up suddenly and felt something was pressing me......and someone was walking at the floor above and the noise of cracked furniture......
Sleepy afternoon..............
2009年11月15日星期日
Day after days
Whenever I want to blog something, the first thing i mention would probably be the time. I always say time flies and boring days. But actually my life was not that boring, it is rather sweet now.
Except five workdays in a week, the two-day weekend always is not long enough to have fun of my own. Ususally I would TV the friday night late and have a sound sleep till the next day.
I do not sleep too much now because there is more things to do rather then wasting time sleeping.
After waking up I would go to food market which just located after the house where I live. At weekends there is enough time to make even a feast. But, sigh, my roommate always hang out with her friends at weekend even go out during workdays and it is not that intertesting to cook for myself!
I just realised that although it is the fifth month i stayed in beijing, i still have not built my friends circles. No girlfriend to gossip or shop together who shares the same style or interest with me. How about colleagues? We do have a lot female collegues here but since it is a IT company, most girls here studied science and it is not likely that we could share a common interest.
For the past weeks, beijing had snowed three times and two at weekends. It is so cold that i have to stay indoor. When we have nice weather, i would go shopping, have to shop alone. Last weekend I spent four hours shopping and in fact half of the time was used in the road. lol beijing is big one ~
Work now.....
Except five workdays in a week, the two-day weekend always is not long enough to have fun of my own. Ususally I would TV the friday night late and have a sound sleep till the next day.
I do not sleep too much now because there is more things to do rather then wasting time sleeping.
After waking up I would go to food market which just located after the house where I live. At weekends there is enough time to make even a feast. But, sigh, my roommate always hang out with her friends at weekend even go out during workdays and it is not that intertesting to cook for myself!
I just realised that although it is the fifth month i stayed in beijing, i still have not built my friends circles. No girlfriend to gossip or shop together who shares the same style or interest with me. How about colleagues? We do have a lot female collegues here but since it is a IT company, most girls here studied science and it is not likely that we could share a common interest.
For the past weeks, beijing had snowed three times and two at weekends. It is so cold that i have to stay indoor. When we have nice weather, i would go shopping, have to shop alone. Last weekend I spent four hours shopping and in fact half of the time was used in the road. lol beijing is big one ~
Work now.....
2009年11月2日星期一
Beijing has snowed!
It really was a early snow this year. I remember that it usually snows at the end of November or even later. But this year, wow, i did not expect it to come so early.
It was at the weekend. I woke up in the early morning -- we planned to go to kalaok that day. I pull the curtain aside and push the window open(a big french window it is lol) and my sleepy eyes wide open: snow! heavy snow! and they kept falling down
The scene outside was such a fairy tale style. A two floor building with stairway outside used to be covered in Bostonivy now it is brown and white. The snow liked the tenderest quilt, tranquilize the world.
It was at the weekend. I woke up in the early morning -- we planned to go to kalaok that day. I pull the curtain aside and push the window open(a big french window it is lol) and my sleepy eyes wide open: snow! heavy snow! and they kept falling down
The scene outside was such a fairy tale style. A two floor building with stairway outside used to be covered in Bostonivy now it is brown and white. The snow liked the tenderest quilt, tranquilize the world.
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