2010年7月28日星期三
2010年7月27日星期二
近一个月都没有工作，每天在办公室昏昏欲睡。 爸爸妈妈弟弟来北京，本来是很开心的事情，可是这几天也让他们受了不少委屈。我做的不对，做的不够好。
We should be happy. I dont know what to say. I wanna cry. I could not write down the details because i am afraid recalling it in the future. That is me. I never wrote down sad things for i am fearing reading those memories. Beijing is experiencing the hottest summer in history and so i am experiencing a tough feelings.
I feel tears are going to burst out when standing in front of my family. I wanna hold their hands and tell them how much i love them how much i want to devote to them. But what they saw is a pity me--a thin weak girl who sturggling in beijng with little salary.
They dont accept my "love". They feel sad when i am paying for them. In their eyes i can never grow up -- unless i earn "100...00000"
But i cant wait. I dont even know when can i earn so much money. But i cannot wait -- since my grandma passed away i just realize that i cant wait any more.
I want to devote to you, now, at this moment and till i die. Although my salary is not high, with good arrangement i could still live a good life. I know money is not the only way to express my love, but u know i love you and now spend money on u is the only way that i could do.
Am i pathetic?
yes i think so
We should be happy. I dont know what to say. I wanna cry. I could not write down the details because i am afraid recalling it in the future. That is me. I never wrote down sad things for i am fearing reading those memories. Beijing is experiencing the hottest summer in history and so i am experiencing a tough feelings.
I feel tears are going to burst out when standing in front of my family. I wanna hold their hands and tell them how much i love them how much i want to devote to them. But what they saw is a pity me--a thin weak girl who sturggling in beijng with little salary.
They dont accept my "love". They feel sad when i am paying for them. In their eyes i can never grow up -- unless i earn "100...00000"
But i cant wait. I dont even know when can i earn so much money. But i cannot wait -- since my grandma passed away i just realize that i cant wait any more.
I want to devote to you, now, at this moment and till i die. Although my salary is not high, with good arrangement i could still live a good life. I know money is not the only way to express my love, but u know i love you and now spend money on u is the only way that i could do.
Am i pathetic?
yes i think so
2010年7月14日星期三
I love Radio!
I love radio!
Listening to the radio online in the office and maybe one song will remind me another song...Now on radio is
Karma Police by radiohead.
Absolution by Muse
Victor,fly me to Staffor by My Little Airport
Listening to the radio online in the office and maybe one song will remind me another song...Now on radio is
Karma Police by radiohead.
Absolution by Muse
Victor,fly me to Staffor by My Little Airport
2010年7月12日星期一
在这个阴沉的天气
我想外婆了。
前几天蹲在地上收拾东西，突然看到外婆给我买的那个手表，顿时泪就下来了。今天看了看以前的博客，想外婆想的很。
来北京之后不知道哭过多少回，我本来就是个爱哭鬼，上了大学后哭得少了，结果那几年该留的泪水似乎在毕业后的一年内全部流了出来。一个人可以忘记要哭泣，一个人也可以在路上哭得很放肆。
外婆，我想你，可是我除了流泪之外却什么也不能做。我把对于你的记忆尘封了起来，可是不小心看到的时候，还是止不住伤心。你走的时候我居然没有第一时间知道，也没能回去看你。今年春节，我回去了，我想去看看你，可是我居然没有勇气说出这样的请求。我想说，我想去看看外婆。但是这个念头，都要哽咽在嗓子里。妈妈说要不要去舅妈家，我说不要，因为我害怕我会一下子在别人的面前哭出来。后来我还是去了，我还是在大家的面前哭了起来，大家都当作没有看见的样子。
我又哭了外婆，我知道这样不好，要下雨了，我要回去了。
我爱你外婆，永远永远。我爱你。
前几天蹲在地上收拾东西，突然看到外婆给我买的那个手表，顿时泪就下来了。今天看了看以前的博客，想外婆想的很。
来北京之后不知道哭过多少回，我本来就是个爱哭鬼，上了大学后哭得少了，结果那几年该留的泪水似乎在毕业后的一年内全部流了出来。一个人可以忘记要哭泣，一个人也可以在路上哭得很放肆。
外婆，我想你，可是我除了流泪之外却什么也不能做。我把对于你的记忆尘封了起来，可是不小心看到的时候，还是止不住伤心。你走的时候我居然没有第一时间知道，也没能回去看你。今年春节，我回去了，我想去看看你，可是我居然没有勇气说出这样的请求。我想说，我想去看看外婆。但是这个念头，都要哽咽在嗓子里。妈妈说要不要去舅妈家，我说不要，因为我害怕我会一下子在别人的面前哭出来。后来我还是去了，我还是在大家的面前哭了起来，大家都当作没有看见的样子。
我又哭了外婆，我知道这样不好，要下雨了，我要回去了。
我爱你外婆，永远永远。我爱你。
2010年7月5日星期一
2010年7月1日星期四
困。
这几个周末都过得满满的。上上个周末颐和园大游行，上个周末公司项目组一起出去玩。平时还会跑到同事家里做饭。于是就觉得累的缓不过劲来。时间这样过了也好。
小蝴蝶的小脑袋又开始疼了。
已经连续上火一个月，每天都是嗓子疼，疼得难受，但是自己却又不好好吃饭，又不会忌口，所以都是自作自受。虽然喜欢做饭给别人吃，但是已经好久没有人做好饭喊我吃饭了！！
“我回来了！”“饭做好了！”----哎呀哎呀，这是多年前的场景了..................现实情况咧，是我下班顺路去超市买袋泡面，回去三分钟煮好了，端着锅边吃边看电视。
我在想，最近有什么生活可以值得记录下来的吗？或者最近有什么好的想法？我好像很久没有思考些什么，很久没有感叹些什么，最近的生活，匆忙得不得了。
我想我得好好睡一觉，在我小小的房间里，有我的大熊和猩猩，还有室友。这样我才能睡得比较安心。我的房间里还有一条金鱼，可以听到它吐水泡泡的声音。我常常会忘记它，它却自己生长的很好。或许我该拣到一只很依赖我的小狗。
我喜欢依赖别人，也喜欢被人依赖，这样两个人互相需要，才觉得失去的可能性比较小。但是我也过得很洒脱，很目中无人。有时候，我是个贪玩的人，对于我要的，就会情不自禁伸手去探，甚至忽略了我所处的位置。
这几个周末都过得满满的。上上个周末颐和园大游行，上个周末公司项目组一起出去玩。平时还会跑到同事家里做饭。于是就觉得累的缓不过劲来。时间这样过了也好。
小蝴蝶的小脑袋又开始疼了。
已经连续上火一个月，每天都是嗓子疼，疼得难受，但是自己却又不好好吃饭，又不会忌口，所以都是自作自受。虽然喜欢做饭给别人吃，但是已经好久没有人做好饭喊我吃饭了！！
“我回来了！”“饭做好了！”----哎呀哎呀，这是多年前的场景了..................现实情况咧，是我下班顺路去超市买袋泡面，回去三分钟煮好了，端着锅边吃边看电视。
我在想，最近有什么生活可以值得记录下来的吗？或者最近有什么好的想法？我好像很久没有思考些什么，很久没有感叹些什么，最近的生活，匆忙得不得了。
我想我得好好睡一觉，在我小小的房间里，有我的大熊和猩猩，还有室友。这样我才能睡得比较安心。我的房间里还有一条金鱼，可以听到它吐水泡泡的声音。我常常会忘记它，它却自己生长的很好。或许我该拣到一只很依赖我的小狗。
我喜欢依赖别人，也喜欢被人依赖，这样两个人互相需要，才觉得失去的可能性比较小。但是我也过得很洒脱，很目中无人。有时候，我是个贪玩的人，对于我要的，就会情不自禁伸手去探，甚至忽略了我所处的位置。
What would my life become?
What would my life look like in the following twenty years?
Just didnt realize that i have been 23 years old for a while. This should be the age that girls enjoyed the wonderfully life. But i have been thinking about what comes after my 25......
My family is pushing me to find a lovely partner who would love me till death who should be rich who should have kind-hearted and who should have outstanding appearance. It does not seem that that is me who need to find a partner but my family want a son-in-law.
I was from a small town in the south-east: fujian province. There are lots of rich people who were poor but earned a living by stealing into Americas, Janpan or some other foreign countries and managed to be worthy by restaranting mostly. They earned money in abroad and spent it at home. Their lives might be hard abroad but when they returned, they always look the best. Fujian province, especially in my hometown, is the least place that lack of rich people. They are people with brave heart and wise brain. They are the people who go out for the people stayed. They are the family who my parents want me to marry. But I dont.
Am I still to naiive?
Just didnt realize that i have been 23 years old for a while. This should be the age that girls enjoyed the wonderfully life. But i have been thinking about what comes after my 25......
My family is pushing me to find a lovely partner who would love me till death who should be rich who should have kind-hearted and who should have outstanding appearance. It does not seem that that is me who need to find a partner but my family want a son-in-law.
I was from a small town in the south-east: fujian province. There are lots of rich people who were poor but earned a living by stealing into Americas, Janpan or some other foreign countries and managed to be worthy by restaranting mostly. They earned money in abroad and spent it at home. Their lives might be hard abroad but when they returned, they always look the best. Fujian province, especially in my hometown, is the least place that lack of rich people. They are people with brave heart and wise brain. They are the people who go out for the people stayed. They are the family who my parents want me to marry. But I dont.
Am I still to naiive?
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