sorry

sorry, i am becoming upset again. tried to write something but failed... all i write is nothing meanful...so i gave up.

I must write something! And please cheer up.

This photo was accidentally taken by me. Summer night, with the orange street lamps blazing peacefully, laze warm wind wandering through your side, students headed home after classes. They were joking and happily riding home. They were still in high school, judging from the neat school uniform. Nothing to worry about and nothing to choose about--study, study, study...Suddenly that scence became vague in front of me. Some foggy-like things are spreading everywhere...time and space is twisting...their laughters floated high in the sky, echoing in my heart, gradually became familar. I wanted to grasp them but in vain...
Night shadows, light leads, the blind can nerver tell.




A Letter to Bruce
yea, i am from fuzhou:) and wow, 2005.8 is the time when i first left home,heading north for my unversity life. Do you like fuzhou? any fantastic memory here? ha. and, 2005,it seems so far away yet also likes yesterday. Four years have passed,and now i am going to change for a third city after graduation. it is quite a strange feeling: while i realise how impotant and glorious my hometown means to me, i still dont want to come back. Maybe there is my last salvation--a place who welcomes his child back at anytime... 　　 　　

Fuzhou is raining a lot recently,most time at night and woke me up so easily...:) 　　 　　 　　

Flower - Xiaoxiao

I will try to translate some chinese songs to English. This is the first one and I know it is not a good one. Hope I can do better in the future.

Flower -- by Xiaoxiao

Hiding in the garden, she is meditation

Wearing pied clothes, flowers shield her trace

She buried unnecessary defects, picked up confidence

Washed the moldy skin...

I can see you again, she said,

Intending to let you see me again

A perfect me and then eradicatemyself from your memory

I will fall in love again, she said

Dormant flowers expose her breathing

I will fall in love again, someday

But now the garden is the only place she trust

Walking in the garden, she is meditation

Suddenly you can see her, invisible by flowers' coloration

Throwing away orange juice, she drink more water

Washed and dryed the hair

I can see you now, she said　

Intending to let you see the original me again before deleting myself from your life

I will fall in love again, then she said

The flowers had been dormant, she was found breathing under there

I will fall in love again...

The other day she walked out of the gardenwearing a simple T-shirt.

UPSEEEEEEEEEEEET!

UPSET UPSET UPSET! AGAIN！WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!ARGH!!!ERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROLLING BACK TO BED AND HIDE!!!DYING!


tou2 xiang2
投 降

surrender . give in . haul down one's flag/colors . hang out/show the white flag . render oneself up to . throw up the sponge . cave in . yield to .

submission . capitulation(conditional surrender) .


She was faced with two alternatives -- death or submission.
ta1 mian4lin2 liang3zhong3 xuan3ze2 -- si3wang2 huo4zhe3 tou2xiang2.
她 面 临 两 种 选 择 -- 死 亡 或 者 投 降

STATIC CLING-Confession of Muffin.Z

Muffin.Z is a little bit clingy, like the furry sock that stick to somebody jeans aften taken out of the dryer. That is called in physics as "Static cling". Clingy is not a bad thing, but while combined with paranoid, wow, that is just annoying : taking others actions personally and end up hurting one's own feelings and still pretending to be "I am ok, it is ok for me, really." Wow, girl, there is yourself to thank.
Wiki defines Static cling as the tendency for light objects to stick (cling) to other objects due to static electricity which is caused by rubbing. Love is just like that. It stems from interpersonal exchanges."Rubbing" may bring pains and end up with chafe but if there is still any chance of bringing warm and heat then it is so necessary. Even without this chance, one should still keep trying, for as the singer Asin once said that :" I am not afraid of loving a wrong person but never be in love. " Most time women play the role as lighter objects in this process. I agree with Lin Yutang's opinion in My Country and My People, that "the second period of woman's beauty...best seen in a happy wife three months after her confinement."
The static cling phenomenon is especially noticable IN A LOW HUMIDITY environment. I remind myself a chinese idiom "gan1 chai2 lie4 huo3", literally meaning "a blazing fire and dry wood", metaphorically means man and woman(usu. improper relationship) get caught in strong passion. This word is first used by Cao Xueqin, a great chinese novelist in Qing dynasty, in his masterwork Dream of the Red Chamber. We always say love is the chemical reaction between people but now we find physics there too. I have heard a story that a German who settles in the southeast of china for the first time, opened the wardrobe and shokingly found there are many white fuzzy spot in the clothes. He was nearly freak out and called for help. This is a real story. Most chinese or southerners may be aware with what had happened. Yes, humidity! His clothes got mildewed in this rainy season! Humidity ruins more than clothes. It creates a foggy curtain between lovers. .... wrote many rubbish... id better stop now. but you know, humidity helps to conduct current!
ok , this is a simpler one:
dry, rub, spark,spark, spark! fire, blazing fire ! humidity! fire got controlled...ok...taming fire, warm and tender. human evolution and electricity on and woowwwwwwwww

i am crazy.......

to be continued...........

Winter vacation is totally a mess. Growth is painful but stagnation is even more so.
Poshi disappeared for a long time. He wrote in his page that:"Perhaps I only need to be alive. "
This word stirred up my feelings which is hard to define.

Sigh...

do you mind i sharing this with you?
I am really upset recently. people around me have either found jobs or got offers to further their study. But, only me, i still have my future in a vacancy. i just feel really really depressed and i have nobody to talk to. who can comfort me? i cannot do this all by myself. i need somebody or anyone, who is firmly enough to be by my side.